It happened at the women’s comfort room. There I was putting on lipstick, giggling like a schoolgirl with my girlfriends. And there she was, combing her short hair having small talk with us. We were all in a playful mood- whispering the latest gossip, talking about the latest movie, money and men. In that order, I believe.
Then we hit paydirt. Of course we talked about relationships. Who was dating who, who was doing who. It was fun listening to them talk about the men in their lives. But it was no fun at all when the joke turned on me when they teased me for not having a boyfriend for the past 29 years of my so-called existence. Oh yes sirrreeee, I belong to that club.
Wait! This is the fun part!
Maybe I was a nitwit, maybe I was stupid. Ugh, I’m not really sure?! But I didn’t know that asking someone why she’s never had a boyfriend could turn into the War of the Roses. I meant no offense, nor malice when i asked her that, because I, for one, was similarly situated. Ha!ha! It went on like this…
gege: bakit di ka pa nagkakaboyfriend?
girl:ay ewan ko, basta ako by choice, ewan ko sayo!!!
This was said with a lot of sarcasm and maybe, jest. Well, excuse me for asking, but there was no need for sarcasm and claws, your bitchiness!
So you think a catfight followed? No, not my style. I just stood there, my face burning and a smile plastered on my face. I was humiliated. Those cruel words were like a knife cutting my heart to pieces. I said nothing, but I wanted to scream and hurt her the way she did me.
It felt awful. I felt so unlovable, undesirable and insecure. It was like saying shame on you, you’re single and it wasn’t even your choice, you poor unfortunate soul! She made me feel like I was crap, pus and a fungus. So maybe I was being a drama queen. Tell you what, I am, and I don’t care.
It hit me, was what she was saying true? That the reason why i never had a relationship is not because it was my choice, rather, it is by chance? Big Question, WHAT AM I, A WALLFLOWER?!
Few months passed by, I was still that wallflower- single, fabulous with my hymen intact.:)
Gossip is free. I heard she had a boyfriend.
Gossip has wings. Her man-trouble, did not fall upon deaf ears.
There she was, her high and mightiness, spilling her guts out. Her choice? Turned out to be not such a good one for her. Heartbreaker, one wouldn’t wonder what else was broken.
I am not here to judge anyone. What people do behind closed-doors isn’t any of my business. But I won’t be a hypocrite, maybe I am capable of that too. Maybe, maybe not.
I am not happy over the tears she cried for that man. She did not deserve to be treated that way. Every girl deserves better than to be treated so shabbily by a man she adores, respects and loves. But a part of me felt vindicated. She made me realize that single-blessedness or virginity, although the two concepts are non-sequitur, weren’t such a lonely word.:)
I thank God for that moment when I kept my composure, lest a confrontation would have ensued. I thank God for giving me that choice and that chance to just wait up, he will come along…
Oh, cut the crap! Who am I kidding?! I’m still angry that’s why I am writing this down. So what’s my point? Well, the point is, payback is a bitch. And a parting shot, F@*# you too, sweetie!!!
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