SPEECH...POWER!!!

I love my friends. I know their faults, but still I love them. But there are limits to loving a friend. There are certain rules, both written and unwritten, where you set boundaries. There are certain ideals where you don't meet eye to eye. You may fight about it, but then you make up afterwards.

A few days ago, in one of those social networks, I stumbled upon a video posted by a friend on her wall. It contained a video of a harelip cleft palate child who was singing. Of course, his speech can not be understood. The person responsible for uploading the video wrote a disclaimer. It said that the video was not meant to harm or mock the child, but merely to showcase his "talent." Bull.Shit. I am known to be feisty and emotional among my friends. I do not deny this. When I saw that video, i was outraged. How dare that person. Shame on him. I don't know why my friend posted this on her wall. I can't read minds. But it was insensitive, tasteless and tacky.

I feel every child who has gone through or is going through the pain of being ridiculed in public because of their speech defect. I was that child too. I remember, way back in gradeschool, I used to go home to the arms of my Lola crying and weeping my 10-year old lungs because my schoolmates and my neighbors tease me "ngo-ngo" and mimic the way i talk. During parties, I get treated like dirt, I get the ugliest gift best suited for the ugly girl. I don't get to join the chorale, because, of course, who would understand "ing-el Ells?" Everything changed when my Mom enrolled me in Speech Power. I was that mousy, shy, scared little girl who had no self-confidence when I got in the program. Two months after, I came out a different person. I was still shy and scared and mousy, but my speech improved a lot. From then on, I spoke to my heart's content, 1000 words in a minute, 5,000,000 words per mile. Haha! :)

So there, I feel you, babies.

And in my own way, I will champion your cause, our cause. I won't stay quiet when we get ridiculed. It doesn't matter if I lose a friend for it, because, maybe she was never a friend in the first place. I will fight them, come hell or high.

Smitten: A War

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

-- Gilda Radner

The thing with me is that I am totally dense when it comes to relationships and men.Yes, I did go to school with boys, rode in cars with men, drank and cursed with them but I am still at a total loss when it comes to their kind. So yes, I don't know when to take them seriously, and when to say it's all a game.

I didn't know that they can make you feel like the sun shines and sets on your ass one minute, and they can make you feel like an aging junkie the next. Yes, without a warning. I didn't know that they can pay you lip-service like a hustler one time, and then drop you like a hot potato the next. Yes, without a warning. And just when you think you are beginning to fall into that trap, bam, they're gone in 60. Yes, still without a warning.

Or maybe it was all my fault. I had this picture in my head of a lovestory that was more meant for the big screen than in real life. That i had these illusions that maybe, just maybe, there could be a chance. I don't even know how it started or why, but "our" story ended so bad...it ended when it has not even started.

Fine, my bad. My fault. I should have known the written and unwritten rules. Rule number 1: Never take a player seriously lest you want a broken heart.

But do let me be juvenile for awhile. I've been itching to say and throw spiteful words lately I just might die if I don't get to say it. I think a man would really prefer to be with someone with a pretty face and a warm hot body than be with a smart mouth and a witty brain. I mean, really, if I were a man I would do to. There'd be a soft cushion to lay my head on, rather than an overthinking brain, right? Who wants to go to bed with a brain and have clinical sex with it? Certainly, not even I would. If i were a man, I would want to go to bed with endless smooth legs. But come to think of it,sooner or later, one way or another, you're gonna have to have an intelligent conversation or at the very least a decent conversation with a woman. You know, a conversation that wouldn't have to include a "wahahaha", "jejeje" or a "toinkz" in between every sad pathetic sentence.
It is kinda sad to lose over someone who you think is beneath you. Ok fine, I am being an intellectual and social snob. That's because I am. Plus the fact that I am hurt. Fine, there, I said it. I am. I have a bruised and crushed ego that wouldn't accept the fact that I've been fooled. And here I am, vulnerable as a lamb, claiming to be smart, when I, clearly am not. FUCK. ME.SHIT.

Next time, oh no, there will be no next time I hope. I hope I'd be smarter than my age. You know, one who wouldn't swoon over a sweet word and a sweet smile. Lesson learned.

Sabi nga ni Bob Ong:
"Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

Yes...my bad.

Maria Goes to the Market

12-18 Wish List:



1. go to Baguio and have the most delicious breakfast at Cafe by the Ruins

2. one more Coach bag (yes, I'm a Coach whore)

3. Dslr

4. a new phone would be nice

5. run 10k, baby!

6. go back to Sagada. will do spelunking all over again, pottery and try Bob Marley *wink

7. try surfing in La Union (though i'm a scaredy cat i can't swim i'll just summon enough chutzpah)

8. run 21k would that be too much to ask for?

9. Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel

10. get soaked under the rain and then an iced-cold beer after

11. dance till the break of dawn in some bar where nobody knows me, till the sun is out and the bartender asks me to leave!

12. a hot steaming cup of brewed coffee at 6 AM 12-18

13. hear mass at the Quiapo church

14. new pair of running shoes...oh oh and sportsbraaaaaaa! :)

15. take my first photoshoot in my dreamland... Quiapo.(filth and snatchers be damned!)

16. Saisaki eat all you can (see, i'm very low-maintenance!)

17. a white baby t-shirt that says Bitch on the front and says "Goddess" at the back

18. you, whoever you are. :)



wishful thinking lang naman e... :)