RUNAWAY

I am bored. Bored beyond relief it is making me think of things I shouldn’t even be thinking. Thinking of these things makes me worry like a mother hen. Worrying makes me feel and look old. In fact, I think I am the oldest 29 year old on the planet.

I have a job, thank God for that. To some people, my job may be mediocre and unimportant. But to me my job means security-it puts food on the table and the clothes on my back. It means saving my sanity from a life that is too boring and uneventful.

But I have to be honest. I want some more. This is not what I want from life. I want and want and want, sometimes there is a gnawing feeling inside of me it almost burns. So many things I want to do,so many things I want to see and experience. I feel trapped. It makes me wonder, am I just another whore in a business suit with two degrees under my belt? Am I willing to sell my dreams and ambitions for something that is uncertain? But if I go after my dreams, quit my job, live on my terms, who’s going to pay my rent, the bills, and other obligations? Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I am a big help to my family. I love the fact that I have regained my self-esteem with this job. I was just wondering…

The clock is ticking. I don’t have much time.

But I am praying, tomorrow will be mine. I may be too old, too fat, too jaded, but I’m still hoping tomorrow will be mine, all mine. Dreams, they don’t die first. It’s the spirit that does. And I, most certainly,am not dead.